Uncle Shelby

Today Pioneer Woman made mention of Shel Silverstein - which brought back very fond memories for me. I do love some Shel Silverstein.

My favorite work of his - by far - is UNCLE SHELBY'S ABZ's. This is the greatest coloring book ever. Do not, ever - under any circumstances - allow children near this book. I know that if you go to your local book store, you're probably going to find it in the section with all the kid type books - but I'm here to tell ya .. .. .. no good can come from children getting knowledge from this book!

I'm not sure where my 2 or 3 copies are right this minute - but here are some bits and pieces that I remember:

"B is for baby. See the baby. The baby is pink. The baby is cute. The baby is fat. See the baby play. Play baby play. Mommy loves the baby . . . . . more than she loves you."

"E is for egg. E is also for Ernie. Ernie is the genie that lives in the ceiling. Ernie LOVES eggs. Throw an egg at the ceiling and yell 'Catch, Ernie, catch the egg!' and Ernie will reach down and catch the egg." Hey, JB - you remember that one?

"P is for Pony. See the pony. The pony lives in the gas tank of Daddy's car. He makes the car go. That is called "horse power". Maybe the pony is hungry--Pour some nice sugar into the gas tank. Ponies love sugar. When Daddy comes home tell him you have fed the pony and maybe he will buy you a cowboy suit."

The artwork is just as distorted as his mind .. .. there are other goodies such as a smudged spot where it says there should be a nice, shiny quarter (unless someone stole it). There a coupon you can cut out and take to the store and get a FREE REAL LIVE PONY!!!

He also suggests that you take all the nasty dirty money that mommy and daddy fight about and put it in an envelope and mail it to Uncle Shel Silverstein, P.O. Box 123. . . . .. . . . .

For the hippo at the zoo it's something about helping to remove the bone in his throat that it is choking on - and the hippo will turn into a prince and give you a million dollars!

I'm telling you, if you've never seen it - go to the book store and just sit there and read it - it's not that long. Or - if you're feeling rich, buy it (and a new box of Crayons, too) and leave it on the coffee table. Color it - coloring is good for the soul. It is certainly a great conversation starter!

Not Me! Monday! is on Hold - This is Just Another Monday!

**How long do we have to be retired before people figure out that to us that means stop calling us at 7:15am just to chat? We're always awake at 7:15pm, why not call us then?

**Every time we and/or the dogs go in our front yard, the large pit bull across the street runs up and down his fence line barking. He doesn't stop until we are completely out of sight. He is a beautiful dog but he is HUGE and I think my head would fit in his mouth. And he barks really loudly! "Tech" got out of his yard last week and it took his owner 30 minutes to catch him. I look out the window now to see where he is before I go in the front yard!

**Here in Florida we are required to have one license plate on the back of our vehicles. Why do some people go get that single license plate and then say, "I have to put them on my car." It's the same with a driver's license - it is a single item, but is referred to as them on a regular basis. I'm not the grammar police, but this just drives me crazy.

**DANGER, BE ON THE ALERT, DANGER** The latest news reports are again calling for a new huge computer virus to hit APRIL 1, 2009! Why is it that these computer meanies pick on April Fools Day to hit us with a virus every year? I'm gonna do a complete fresh back-up tonight just in case.

**It's a sunny day here - I think I will go do some laundry and actually hang outside to flap in the breeze! I just love fresh sheets that have dried in the sun!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JB!!

UPDATE: News Bulletin!! Why didn't someone tell me that it is now 2009? How bad a mother am I that I can't remember how old my only child is!!! I'm going to blame it on my own old age (62 in just over a week), the pain pills - and the fact that I still can't remember when my own mother's birthday is! Baby, you know I love you no matter how old and feeble I get!

Happy Birthday to my wonderful, sweet, caring baby boy! Yep, that's my little JB.

On this, your 36th birthday I would like to take this opportunity to tell you and the world just how proud I am to call you my son.

You were a terrific kid - and pretty easy to raise - most of the time. And somehow even with me for your mother, you have just turned out great!

You participate in your community and try to help make the world a better place. You are a true and loyal friend. You found the perfect wife and between the two of you have created two no longer so little kids who are also turning out just a well as Mom and Dad did!

If I have done nothing else in my entire life, I would be happy that my one accomplishment was you!

Now that your children are getting older, I think you and Karen are starting to feel some of the things that her parents and I feel about you two.

Just wait - The best is yet to come for y'all!

Love,

Momma

I Need A Smile!

Just because I need a smile, I am subjecting you to this strange collection of pictures!

First is our adorable Panda! If they would stay this size I would go buy one today. Right this minute. And plant my entire yard in bamboo just to keep it happy. And I would name him Edgar.

Next is probably going to have DCF knocking at my front door in about 15 minutes. This is a cute little number I found on the world wide web! I think the official title is "red neck time out"! Which is not too hard to believe. Honest, DCF, I have no children in this house and did not take this picture.

The beautiful horses shown in the next photo is a tribute to several women I know - who refuse to swim in the ocean, lakes, rivers, etc. because "fish pee in there"! I must add that this shot and the panda are from ihasahotdog.com and the various branches it has. They have some of the greatest dog and cat (and some other animal) pictures with quotes. I have laughed out loud at something on there almost every time I visit!

Our final shot today is a nice relaxing day at the beach. I'm sure we've all had some days when we felt that things were a little crowded - and wished we had just a little more room. But I doubt that I will ever complain again having new seen what they have to deal with when they go to a beach in China! And I can see that the smog has not improved since the Olympics either!

The Saga Continues - Cake Bites 2 / Poor, Sweet Little Old Lady ZERO

I really tried to let bygones be bygones. Just totally let go of yesterday. Forgive those bullying Cake Bites and give them another chance.

After all, it's a new day. The sun is shining. And I just happen to know where they sell Chocolate. Yeah, it wasn't really the Cake Bites that were the enemy. It was that mean old Baker's Semi-Sweet Chocolate. That's who had it out for me yesterday!

I'm sorry Cake Bites. Let's just pretend that our little chocolate miss-adventure never happened yesterday!

I went to the store and got Hershey's Semi-Sweet Chocolate Morsels. How could anyone go wrong with Hershey's. Hershey's loves everyone. Hershey's will do anything you ask! Hooray, all my cake bite worries are over. or not!

My neighbor, Patti (who could make bricks with peat moss taste good) tells me that you shouldn't keep chocolate warming too long. It can get a little clumpy. Oh, great - NOW she tells me . . . . after the first 1/2 zillion cake bites turn out almost pretty good and the second 1/2 zillion look much, much more than a little clumpy.

And don't you DARE even ask me about why I didn't fancy them up with a beautiful little drizzle of chocolate as a finishing touch!

By the time I was finished I was ready to do my finishing touch with the heavy end of a meat mallet!

Bakerella and The Pioneer Woman Really Don't Need To Worry About Me Taking Their Place!!

For those of you who have been keeping up with Bakerella and The Pioneer Woman in the quest for the perfect Cake Pop - Cake Bites - and other yummy and beautiful Cake Creations, you may want to stop reading. This may damage your chances of perfecting your caking skills.

For those of you who have NOT been watching Bakerella and The Pioneer Woman, shame on you. They remind me a little of Lucy and Ethel . . . the funny part, not the stupid part! If you need addresses here they are: thepioneerwoman.com then click on 'cooking' at the top and browse around. You'll find the cake pops eventually. And bakerella.blogspot.com the inventor of the Cake Pop and Cake Bites.

Okay - so here's what has happened in my kitchen today. Somehow or other, it entered my mind to make a carrot cake today. As anyone who knows me will gladly tell you, I am way beyond challenged in the kitchen. Me baking a cake is highly unusual. Therefore, family and friends will not be surprised at the outcome.

I prepared the mix precisely as directed on the package. Poured it into my rarely used Wilton Bundt Pan, set the timer and got her to cooking. When the timer went off, I inserted a bamboo skewer to make sure it was done. Yep, clean! The cake is done!!

I set it on a cake rack to cool and set the timer for 10 minutes. During those 10 minutes, I was Little Susie Homemaker! I washed all my little cake making utensils, put away the mixer, etc. Man, maybe at almost 62 years old, I was finally getting the hang of this kitchen thing!

The timer goes off!! Yippee! I got a clean cooling rack, laid it on top of the bundt pan and flipped the whole thing over.

I immediately felt weight shift onto the cooling rack and felt my chest fill with pride. I carefully started to lift the bundt pan. Uh-oh! It's feeling a little heavier than it should. I set it back down, got a flashlight and peeked under the edge. Yep, the cake was on the cooling rack - NOT stuck in the pan.

I went ahead and lifted the bundt pan off. Great! About the top 1/3 of the cake is still in the top of the dang pan. Okay, I'll just carefully nudge it out and use the icing to 'glue' it on. Sure, like that cake is really gonna cooperate with me. Like that's ever gonna happen in my kitchen.

The instant that I touch the cake remaining in the pan, ALL the cake remaining in the pan reduces itself to crumbs. So much for glue.

Here's where things really get fun! I got out the canned icing. I put a big glob of icing in a huge bowl, I put the cake crumbs in the bowl and I put the big chunk of cake in the bowl because I have decided that I am Bakerella and Pioneer Woman all rolled into one. However; I forgot my Chef's hat and my cowgirl boots and my apron, too! At this point all that could have saved me would have been my Wonder Woman cape - and that's in the laundry!!

The cake balls didn't turn out too bad. I don't think. Maybe. Now for melting the Baker's Semi-Sweet Chocolate! or not. I had plenty of chocolate. I put it all in a nice deep Tupperware bowl and set it in the microwave. Two minutes later I checked it. It was still perfectly formed chocolate squares! So, I'm thinking (big mistake) that the chocolate should be starting to melt by now - and I put it back in for another two minutes!

The timer goes off, I open the microwave door and black smoke rolls out!!! And the odor!! Yep, ALL the chocolate is now burned - thoroughly, completely burned. In reading directions more carefully I have since found that the chocolate will retain the square shape and that you must stir, stir, stir! And heat the chocolate 30 seconds at a time, at least I think that's what it said.

I now have about a zillion cake balls on waxed paper sitting on my kitchen counter that Dixie is trying to find a way to get to. I have a headache. Dub is asking me where the carrot cake is. Where is my rum?
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Not Me! Monday!

UPDATE!! They are in CRISIS mode over at mycharmingkids.net - - Stellan was taken to the hospital last night with breathing problems, which pretty quickly turned into heart problems! MckMama is at Childrens Hospital with Stellan and PC is home with the other MSC. There have been a lot of attempts to get his heart under control with no success so far .. .. .. get the prayers going!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did not buy one of those really, really big GIANT Hershey bars and eat the entire thing, all by myself in only 48 hours. That would be just awful. That would break every possible health and diet rule known to mankind. I couldn't possibly have done that!

The Attack Rat Terriers did NOT just come flying out of the bedroom at about 100mph, barking like mad, fur on their backs standing straight up! Both of them pawing at the back door to get out. I DID NOT have flashbacks to earlier this year of Dub in his boxers and a cat in the pool! Against my better judgement I let them out! Thankfully, it was a false alarm! There really wasn't a madman out in the yard waiting to kill us all!

We have been on water restrictions here because of the drought conditions. It's spring. Every vehicle within 500 miles is yellow from the pine pollen. SO .. .. .. when it started sprinkling this afternoon, it was not Dub and I who rushed outside and pulled the Jeep out of the carport so it could get a bath! It was someone else that our neighbors saw doing that. We wouldn't be that silly, would we??

I have not become thoroughly enthralled with little Jonah Williams and all his ups and downs since his birth. His blog is patriceandmattwilliams.blogspot.com . Or - you can check my sidebar and just click on his box. He sure seems to be one determined little fighter! He has EB and the doctors are still trying to figure out just what degree of the condition he has and how to best treat him. If you have a spare minute, prayers are always welcome!

Got any fun things you haven't done lately?????

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Circle the Wagons! The Idiots Are Coming!

Yep, that's right. The Idiots are coming. Of course in a lot of cases they are already here and have been for a long time. But now I think we're getting a whole new breed!

I made a quick stop at our local convenience store the other afternoon. There stands Joe Tourist discussing the shuttle launch that is happening that very evening. Mr. Tourist is very upset because those jerks on guard at Kennedy Space Center wouldn't let him on the property to watch the launch. He's got his huge land yacht in the parking lot with mom, kids, dogs, cousins, etc. and the guards won't let him in! He's a tax payer! He should be allowed to go as close as he wants! At this point, I look at the clerk, the clerk looks at me .. .. .. and we were both obviously thinking exactly the same thought. "Yes, park right next to the launch pad. Within 3 seconds of lift-off all traces of you, the land yacht and your family will just be a sad memory!" It took all the strength I could muster not to just burst out in uncontrollable laughter. Idiot!

We have a new neighbor. They have a beautiful dog. He is black and white. He is a really big pit bull. And he barks. A lot. He never stops. Well, almost never. He does stop to eat and drink. Then he barks some more. Animal Control has come to visit a couple of times. They have written 2 tickets to the owners. The owners pay the tickets. The dog still barks. Idiots!

The family that lives next door to the barking pit bull has a beautiful collie. The collie used to bark. A lot. They finally broke him of that awful barking habit about 6 months ago. Guess who is learning how to bark again! Idiot!

Time for Presidential sensitivity training. President Obama went on Jay Leno's show and made a comment about how his bowling skills compare to those of someone in the Special Olympics. Idiot! This is NOT a political statement on my part - it is an idiot statement!

The CPA who handles taxes for my former employer (the job I retired from over a month ago) called me a couple of weeks ago (on my cell). He wanted to know if I was going to pick up the corporate tax return and check it over before I delivered it to 'the boss'. I explained (for the third time) that I am retired, I don't work there any more and that he should call 'the boss' and see if they want to pick it up or what! Idiot!

Two Little Whiners

Dub left the house this afternoon to go get a haircut. Well, actually, he went to get them ALL cut. But that's beside the point. I was left here at home, alone with two little whiners!


Both the 5 year old and the 7 year old moped around the house - all because Dub wouldn't let them go with him. I can't say that I blame him. It's rare that he gets to go anywhere or do anything on his own. We're usually the whole gang when we go out. So - today I stayed home with the youngsters and let him have a little peace and quiet.


I tried taking them outside to play ball. We played tag. I turned on the sprinkler (we're in Florida - it was 80 degrees today)! I really tried to be entertaining. For some reason, I'm just not connecting with them today. I'll go turn on cartoons! Back into the house we go.


Snack time! Everybody got a yummy snack and then we all snuggled up to take a rest. I just managed to open my book to do a little reading - - when the kiddos hear something .. .. .. .. what is it? Could it be? Are you sure?


They run joyfully to the door as Dub pulls into the driveway. As I open the door - - - there they go * * * *



Running as fast as they can!



Screaming for joy!



Jumping all over Dub!



TAILS WAGGING 1,000 MPH!



BOY, THOSE DOGS LOVE HIM!

At least my little Sugar Glider loves me - I think!

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Great Diet & Exercise Tips!!

I received this from a friend - and have decided that I want to do whatever is necessary to find this doctor and sign up for this program immediately!

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it.... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best! Feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! ‘Round’ is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember: 'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'

Looking for a New House?

This is the Coral Castle near Homestead, FL. I've been to this one and it certainly qualifies as strange. This little guy is supposed to have built it by himself out of HUGE blocks of coral without the aid of any modern machines, cranes, etc. His precision and balance are simply amazing.

I'm not too sure what the main idea with this one is. Probably wide open spaces. I would imagine that the owners are not the least bit afraid of heights. It would also be interesting to see just how you get into it and out! Maybe you could just parachute down . . . but that looks like a pretty rough climb to make carrying groceries!

I really like that this one at least has a visible front door - with a chimney for an awning! The angle of the windows would be pretty interesting from inside, but would probably be a decorators nightmare! How do you design window treatments for that?

Okay, Dub and I are really, really fishing addicts! If there is water, we are likely to try to pull a fish out of it. Fly fishing, spin casting, surf fishing, deep sea fishing - sheesh, I've been seen with a rod and reel in my front yard (okay, I was just practicing my casting) - but even I will draw the line at living inside a fish!

I have seen this house (or one exactly like it) near Knoxville, TN. It really does look remarkably like a recently landed flying saucer. The entrance is a set of stairs that drops down from the belly. I didn't get to go in - but it looks almost livable from outside. I imagine that hurricanes, bad wind storms, etc. would be no problem for this baby!

Not Me! Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Sunday evening someone in this house did not make a valiant attempt at making caramel corn. That same someone did not slightly over cook the first popper full of popcorn. Okay, she did not completely BURN the first popper full of popcorn! No way that could happen in this house!

It couldn't possibly be me who has been clipping coupons like a crazy person for weeks - and keeps forgetting to take them with me to the grocery store. There is no way I could possibly do something that stoopid three weeks in a row!

I DO NOT have a black thumb. Plants love me. That's why I could not possibly have a very badly sunburned plant in my front yard right now! Yes, this afternoon it will be moved back where it came from. Karen and JB sent me this big, beautiful tropical plant last year. It has been sitting in its pot by the screened in pool all this time - thriving! Doing so well that the roots were coming out the top of the pot. Tropical plants grow everywhere here in Florida - or should I say Flori-DUH! Instead of just getting a bigger pot I decided to just plant it. Well, the darned thing does not like sun! My neighbor (who talks to plants I think) says this particular plant is sunburned - and will die a slow and painful death unless it is returned to the shade immediately. I do not want to be responsible for the death of that plant and will be moving it, as stated, this afternoon! Please do not report me to the plant police!

Your turn .. .. .. what didn't you do?

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Changing a Light Bulb

Question: How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb?

Woman's Answer: One! ONLY ONE!!!!
And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And,once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the #&%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !!

I'm sorry.
What was the question?

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Bunny, the MG and me

About a million years ago, at MP High School I had a friend named C, but everybody called her Bunny. Her dad spoiled her rotten - as did all of our dads. We were part of a bunch of kids who all hung out together and pretty much never got into trouble for much of anything. Some of us made pretty good grades - most of us were average. We were all on speaking terms with the "in crowd" but not in the "in crowd".



Anyhoo - when Bunny turned 16, her loving daddy gave her a car. Not just any car. An MG. And not just any MG. A PINK MG - which spent almost it's entire life with her without its top! Her long, blond hair flying everywhere and more than likely I would be in the passenger seat applying the imaginary brake pedal on a regular basis!



We would dig around in the floorboard, the glove box, the bottom of our purses and anywhere else we could and come up with enough coins to fill that PINK MG up and go cruising any time we could get away.



When I think back to those days, I am so thankful that I grew up during that era. Our parents weren't afraid to let us just go wandering around town for hours on end. They knew our friends and our friends parents - and they knew us.



We knew what the limits were. I don't remember Bunny and I ever discussing what the boundaries were. We just knew where we should and shouldn't go - who we should and shouldn't be with. I don't think we ever were given a curfew.



Oh My Gosh!! I was one of those! NO - not that - not a "good girl"! Hey, Bunny, leave me a comment - I lost ya when you moved to The Island! TeeHee - you're a "good girl", too!

Not Me! Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

**I absolutely did not sit up until 3:00 this morning just so I could finish a book I was reading! I just couldn't have been that absorbed in it and not even realised that it was that dang late (or early)!

**Wednesday I heard the mail delivery truck coming and decided to walk out and get the mail. Rascal, our shy (I thought) rat terrier came with me. He did NOT jump right up into her little mail truck wagging his entire rear half . . . drool dripping from his jaws! No, he's much better trained than that. And our mail 'chick' did not reach into her box of Milk Bones and reward him for it! Dixie and Rascal were both taught very early not to take food from strangers! How do we fix it now?

**A couple of weeks ago Dub had to have a pretty big chunk of his left ear cut out (cancer) and they used about a zillion stitches - and even had to do a skin graft. Tuesday we had to go have it checked to make sure everything was healing properly. We didn't drive all the way to the doctor's office (45 minute drive) to be told that we were supposed to be at his smaller office which is only about a 20 minute drive from us! Oh, no - we wouldn't do something that dumb!

So, please leave me your comment - what didn't you do?!

Upsidedowndogs

I found a new site Friday evening! At least to me it's a new site.

upsidedowndogs.com

What a riot! Your dog lays on his/her back - you snap a picture - post it on the web site upside down. Some of the pictures are too, too funny - you can't even recognize what breed they are.

Some are so scary it would frighten their own mothers!!

Grocery Cart Rage!

I got in trouble at the grocery store last week! I thought I was being nice. No, I'm sure I was being nice. BUT - the wicked witch behind me saw it differently! Here's the story!

I got in line to check out with my cart pretty well full. The wicked witch immediately lined up behind me - already complaining loudly about the long lines and the slow service. We hadn't even been in line two minutes and she's complaining?!

Up walks pleasant little old lady asking if she can please squeeze in to reach her National Enquirer. Of course I inched back a little - and asked wicked witch if she could move her cart back a little, too. She stated, "I'm not backing up for nuthin'!"

As I edged my cart sideways, giving little old lady full access to all the periodicals, I asked her if the bread, milk and paper was all she was getting. "Yes," she replied.

I just couldn't help myself. Before I knew what was happening, out of my mouth came, "Go ahead of me!" It was part just to spite wicked witch and part being kind to little old lady.

As little old lady thanked me and took her place in line, I felt a cart impact my ample rear none too gently. I turned, smiled, pulled my phone from my pocket and said, "One more time will get you a trip to jail for assault - I can feel the lasting effects of whiplash now."

As I was walking to my car and loading up my groceries I wondered what wicked witch would have thought if she knew I have a concealed weapon permit - and had a loaded .22 pistol in my purse when she rammed me with her cart! Good thing I don't have grocery cart rage!

Those of you who are anti-gun .. .. don't worry! During that entire situation having a gun in my purse never once crossed my mind. Yes, calling the police did, calling store security did - but I honestly did not think of that gun. I'll write more about my gun this weekend.

Not Me! Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

~~One of our wandering neighborhood cats did not somehow get into our screened-in pool area in the middle of the night Wednesday. And said cat did not alert our two killer attack rat terriers who very vocally told us they needed to go outside. We didn't open the back door as usual - start to head for the screen door when all H*LL broke loose. NO - not two dogs, one cat and Dub (in his Bart boxers wielding a broom) all NOT running around the pool - and me NOT propping all the outside doors open hoping the cat would run outside! The cat did not end up leaping into the pool twice - as I was NOT trying to get the dogs into the house! At one point this cat was not actually hanging upside-down from the ceiling of the screen enclosure! Oh, yeah - just another relaxing 30 minutes here in paradise!

~~I used Dub's truck Friday to help a friend get ready for her yard sale. As I was leaving he said, "Don't be getting any scratches or dings on my fine truck!" We're talking about a 1985 Isuzu here folks! In lots of places only the paint is what's holding it together! It used to be silver but is now a lovely rust color with touches of grey here and there! It has OVER 220,000 miles on it. But it runs well and is darned dependable. As I leave my friends house, we both DID NOT notice at the same time a sheet metal screw completely embedded in the right front tire! I certainly DID NOT have to go home and tell Dub I broke his truck! Well, at least it was a slow leak and I really didn't have to change the tire - and he was able to plug it instead of buying a new tire!

~~I didn't take full advantage of my health insurance last week - with full knowledge that on March 1 I would no longer have coverage. I certainly didn't go get a check-up with my sweet doctor - and then did NOT call the pharmacy and ask them to please give me a refill on every prescription they possibly could! I would never try to take advantage of that poor insurance company like that.

~~It couldn't have been me who got sooooo excited when my Powerball ticket actually won a big $3.00 last week! I'd hate to see what might happen if I actually won a bunch of $$$$$!

On a much more serious note, please check out the Praying for Jonah site (see left sidebar). This family lost newborn Gabe last year and are now fighting to save days old Jonah. They need all the prayers and good thoughts they can get!

Comments - I love comments!! What haven't you done??