MY PICKS FOR "GOOFBALL" AWARDS - 2008

Award Winning School Board Ruling: Orange County, Florida School Board decided to change the high school starting times this year. Yep, they had a lot of parents really angry. Didn't matter that neither the parents nor the students wanted the change - they put it into effect. And now it is four months later. What's that you say? Oh, yeah. They're changing back to the old schedule again first of the year. Seems like the new time just wasn't working out.

Best New Spelling of The Name of My State: After all of our election problems. After School Board rulings like the one above and so many other truly ding-bat, goofball, screwed-up things that keep happening here in Florida - I hereby nominate that we change our name to . . . . FLORI-DUH!

Dumbest Convenience Store Burglar: Poor dummy broke through the roof of a convenience store. Dropped down into the store. Piled cartons of cigarettes and cases of beer up next to the door. And couldn't get out! Tried to break out through the doors and windows but they were Lexan and wouldn't break. He couldn't find anything to climb on to get high enough to go back through the roof. So - he sat down, drank beer and smoked until the employees came to open in the morning. They saw him before they even put the key in the door - called the police - and the poor guy was arrested without incident!

Most Frequent Winner/ Worst Looser/ Most Disliked/ Biggest Whiner/ Championship Pain in the Neck NASCAR Driver: Kyle Bush - - - Yes, he won A LOT! But when he lost, it was always someone else's fault. He never hesitated to ram, push or outright crash other cars - but if another driver came near enough to disturb the air around his car, he would whine like a little girl. Yep, he spent most of 2008 just being a full-blown pain in the neck.

The Big Three Auto Makers: It's bad enough that on their first trip they each spent who knows how much flying that long, long way from Detroit to Washington on their individual corporate jets - but when they came back, they each drove in separate vehicles! You guys ever hear of a car pool?

Auto Makers Unions: This one is kind of hard for me. I understand the need for unions. They truly do serve a very important purpose in the working world - BUT!!!! When the industry that all your membership works for is getting ready to close down at least one of only three major manufacturers left, why not consider making some temporary concessions? Everyone could take a very small percent pay cut, or vacation cut or some kind of cut that could possibly loosen up a little cash to help the companies get things back in line. Taking a small cut now would be a lot better than having one complete manufacturer shut down forever! Shouldn't all of the people directly involved in that industry show that they are willing to give a little before they ask every tax paying American to bail them out?

Wall Street Money Beggers Doing it Wrong: Those dummies at AIG who begged for (and received) amazing amounts of our money . . . and then spent huge amounts of it on lavish parties and trips for themselves and clients! I bet none of US were on any of those excursions!

Politically Correct Award: Nope, not what you think it is. You will NOT find me presenting any award for anything that resembles 'politically correct' behaviour. I like a little off-color joke now and then. I don't mind being called 'honey' from time to time. I am not offended if I hear someone refer to a 'chairman' who is a woman. Sheesh, people, toughen up a little. I don't mind whatever you celebrate or believe in. Let me enjoy what I wish to enjoy. I know it sounds so simple - but why can't it be simple? You do your thing and I will respect that - I'll do mine and you respect that! Wow, that was easy! We were taught that in the sandbox at daycare when I was about 4! I guess that's why I never understood war.

Goofball Politics Award: How about just one huge award to most folks involved in any way in politics during the year 2008! I know there are bound to have been some good stuff going on out there somewhere . . . . but, boy did we hear and see some doozies going on, huh?

And now for Madoff: Keep your chin up Madoff. All is not lost. You still have the homes, yachts, cars, art, etc. that you can sell to pay for your defense!

Do you have a favorite? Something I forgot to mention? Leave me a comment!