How To Install A Home Security System

*HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM*
1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Bubba,
Big'un, Duke, Slim and I went for more ammo and beer. Back in an hour.

Don't mess with the pit bulls - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up bad.

I don't think Killer took part, but it was kinda hard to tell from all the blood.

Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside just in case.

Cooter