$3,200 LCD 61" Super Gizmo Rob Ya Blind Television of Tomorrow!

Please tell me that this is NOT something that you would do to your poor, innocent little dog! I would never do such things to Dixie or Rascal. I draw the line at Santa hats and reindeer antlers! Okay, maybe I did, one time, put pajamas on Dixie when she was really, really small; but, only ONCE or maybe six times!

Look at this storage idea! Turn your staircase into stacked drawers! I think maybe you would have to do this when you were building the stairs.

I can't imagine trying to do this as a re-fit. . . . hubby would have to be pretty talented in the handyman department to make this work, if ya ask me.

Dub and I went to buy a new TV today. Geez! I was totally unaware that I needed a complete electronics education before walking into any store to even browse! I had looked around the interweb a little - very little.

I thought it couldn't be that danged hard. Our old one is 32" - we wanted one a little bigger . . . and flatter would be nice. That's it. Our first salesman looked at us with pity and greed in his eye as he started showing us the $3,200 LCD 61" Super Gizmo Rob Ya Blind Television of Tomorrow! No, thanks - we're just looking.

I found a salesman I liked much better, told him I wanted something UNDER $1,000, at least 32" - what do ya have! He showed us a pretty good selection; then left us alone to look them over and make up our minds. (Dub isn't going to a bunch of stores shopping around - a tv is a tv - pick one.)

We pick out the tv - I leave Dub and Mr. Salesman to settle the money and I go wandering. When I come back and we start out the door, innocent little me says, "So, what time will they deliver it tomorrow?"

"Some time on the 23rd." Replied Dub.

I'm not so sure I want to repeat exactly what I said in response to that - something like, "What, dear?" Only not quite so calm. Or not so polite. Or not so sweet!

I guess the one we picked out is so popular that it won't be in until then.

Until April 23rd, we will be saddled with dealing with the old tv. The one we are replacing. The one that turns itself off at random times throughout the day and evening. The one that can then only be turned back on by pulling the plug and plugging it back in. EVERY FRIGGING TIME!! Sometimes it does this every five minutes! Sometimes it only does it once an hour.

Toshiba does not care. They will not respond to my emails. My NEW tv is NOT a Toshiba.

NOT ME MONDAY - Stuff I DID NOT Do!

Join us for another episode of Not Me Monday! Compliments of www.mycharmingkids.net

I absolutely did NOT get all weepy when I saw the picture on the right on my daughter's blog (okay, she's my daughter-in-law - but she's the closest thing to a daughter I'll ever have)! Saturday night was Daddy / Daughter Dance night at school and what man in his right mind could pass up a date with someone looking THAT good! Of course, my little boy, JB, is looking good, too!

While at the pet shop to buy Pig Earz for the ratters, I surely didn't fall completely in love with these two tiny, cute little kitties that were nothing but purr machines! Hubby was there and drug me out kittenless!

The date today is January 19, 2009, right? Well, I ABSOLUTELY DID NOT take down the last of the CHRISTmas decorations (including the tree) yesterday afternoon. Except for that sign that says, "Be Bad - Save Santa A Trip!" Okay, I'll probably leave up the wood carving of a sleepy Santa that says, "HoHo Hummmm", too!

I had to get up early one morning last week to meet with our CPA - working on the Corporate taxes! Yep, alarm went off, got dressed, grabbed my toaster pop-up and headed out the door - when I remembered . . . . . . the darned meeting was scheduled for the NEXT morning! Nope, that wasn't me. Honest, Boss, you can trust me with all your financial goings on!

Celebrate - Celebrate - Dance to the Music!

Hat Day - I wonder if this is plain old normal hat - or silly hats? Like a tall, black pointy one?
Tin Can Day - Patented in 1810, how could we live without tin cans? You could maybe put some kind of potion in one (do I see a theme developing?)
New Friends Day - Go out and make a new friend today. But, be careful. You don't want to be too aggressive and have folks think you're a stalker or something. If you should get arrested, email us and we'll come post your bail! You could make a potion to help attract friends if you're really un-likable!
Brew A Potion Day - DO NOT brew Love Potion #9 and then try to make a New Friend. I'm pretty sure that you will end up being arrested and it will take lots of us pooling our $$$$$ together to come up with enough to get you out on charges like that!
International Sing-Out Day - and don't be singing-out when you try out that potion!
Get to Know Your Customers Day - and don't use it on customers - business is bad enough without you experimenting on our loyal customers. Well, it might not hurt to try that one that none of us like - - you know who I mean!
National Penguin Awareness Day - No potion experiments on penguins, either. That's animal cruelty and will get you put UNDER the jailhouse - no bail - no trial - just your new BFF, Bubba, to 'show you the ropes'!

CHRISTMAS COOKIE RULES

1. If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and thus calorie free.

2. If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it also has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie calories.

3. If a friend comes over while you are making your Christmas cookies and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend. Because your friend's first cookie is calories free - rule #1 applies to your friend. It would be rude to let your friend sample alone, and being the friend that you are makes your cookie calorie free.

4. Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.

5. Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas cookies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue.

6. Cookies colored red or green have very few calories. Red ones have 3 and green ones have 5 - one calorie for each letter. Make more red ones!

7. Cookies eaten while watching Miracle on 34th Street have no calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.

8. As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.

9. Any cookies consumed from someone else's plate has no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their plate. We all know how calories like to CLING!

And finally...

10. Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because cookies used for medicinal purposes NEVER have calories.

Bubba Claus Is Coming To Town!

A Note from: Santa Claus

I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer serve the States of Georgia, Florida, North and South Carolina, New Mexico, Arizona, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Alabama, Mississippi, Texas, and Arkansas on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies so keep that in mind. However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us.

Differences such as:

1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads: "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."

2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC cola and pork rinds or a moon pie on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy.

3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.

4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donder and Blitzen.." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on Elliott and Petty."

5. "Ho, Ho, Ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!"

6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety sticker on the back with the words "Back Off."

7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus. And Finally,

8. Bubba Claus doesn't always wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree.

Sincerely Yours,

Santa Claus

Here's a picture of

Bubba Claus

The Reason For The Season!

It's CHRISTmas Eve - and let's all please make sure to remember the true reason for the season. If it were not for our Saviour, there would most certainly not be a CHRISTmas - and there would probably not be a you or me either.

So, while sharing our joys and gifts with family and friends, be sure to take at least a few minutes to remind ourselves why we have this wonderful celebration!

And, if you are so inclined, try to remember someone less fortunate. Drop a dollar in a red kettle, give some extra groceries to a food bank or do what you can to help someone who needs it more than you!

Merry CHRISTmas! I'll be back with some Bubba Claus humor later - be sure to tune in after 10pm!

CHRISTMAS FUN

You do know, of course, that there is only one (1) fruitcake in the whole world! People just keep passing it around and re-gifting it cause nobody wants to eat it!

I'm pretty sure this is meant for all those bankers and Wall Street folks - and maybe that Illinois Governor!

Why, yes! I believe that was Santa - good thing you're not the great watch dog you claimed to be!

IT'S NOT ME MONDAY TIME AGAIN!

I did not start doing my laundry yesterday - and quit right in the middle of it. Got enough done to get through a few days. Might finish it today - or might not!

And while fixing a pretty darned good spaghetti dinner this week I would never dip into that new container of chocolate chip ice cream in the freezer!

Saturday, while fishing (not catching), I certainly DIDN'T peel several shrimp and feed them to those really cute little sand pipers that were running up and down the beach!

And I would NEVER EVER pick most of the lima beans out of my mixed vegetables while eating the other night and feed them to the doggies! Who knew rat terriers liked lima beans?

Finally - - I could not have taken a 2 hour nap Sunday . . . nope, not me. It's too close to CHRISTmas and I have way too much to do to be taking naps!

And what didn't you do this week - - hmmmmmm? Leave me a comment!!!

IT'S TIME FOR MY SATURDAY SEVEN!

Here are my miscellaneous Saturday Seven! I've picked seven items from the news of the week and here are my thoughts on them.

1. I guess Mumbai would have to be first. What is the world coming to when Jewish Centers, Five Star Hotels, etc. are under seige - for endless hours - well over 100 innocent lives lost and no one has come forward and said what they intended to accomplish with all of this!?

2. On a much, much lighter note - There is a gentleman who owns a Christmas tree farm somewhere here in the States. For the past several years he has been giving free trees to Servicemen/women and their families. This year he has been fighting prostrate cancer - so the people he has been helping all these years are now taking turns helping him with his trees that he can no longer lift! They say it's only fair since he has given so much to them.

3. It looks like Black Friday was black in more than one way. In California two complete idiots shot and killed each other in the middle of a Toys R Us store! I can't imagine what could possibly prompt anyone to carry a gun into a toy store to start with - let alone have a shoot-out in the middle of their shopping trip!

4. And in New York the crowd was so out of control at a WalMart that they forced the doors - appears they came right off the hinges. Ended up trampling an employee to death. And then the shoppers actually got mad when they tried to close the store because of it! I am sometimes so ashamed of my fellow human beings!

5. My grandson, Pickle, made the Principal's Honor Roll - again! He's in middle school and has worked really hard to get those great grades!

6. Granddaughter, MH, got good grades, too - and is doing really well with her cheer squad. They won a National Championship last year - and are shooting for it again!

7. Greatest news of all! I got the Christmas decorations up - inside - outside - everything. So glad it got done before the weatherman's predicted rain hits us Sunday!