The Tale of Stack O' Dollah

Many years ago I worked in the tax accounting department of a large manufacturing company. There were about 8 to 10 of us in the department. One of my work-mates, Lynda, was black. And she felt that it was her God given duty to educate all of us "white breads" (that was her term for us) on the ways of the streets!

Please do not misunderstand. Lynda was an absolute riot to work with. She was really, really good at her job - but also really, really funny. And she took great pleasure in making fun of us white folks not understanding what was going on the world outside. As each new slang word was invented, she made sure we knew what it meant. You know, in case we got stranded out in the streets, we'd be able to take care of ourselves!

One morning, Lynda called in and said she was going to be late. Boy, we could hardly wait! She was never late for work. We just knew there was going to be a story behind this. And was there ever!

The night before, her brother, Stack O' Dollah, had been arrested. Seems that one of his employees had not been performing as expected and he had slapped her around. I guess when you're a pimp, that's just one of the many duties you must take on!

Anyway, Lynda had been out half the night going to friends and relatives to get up the money to make bail for Stack. She did manage to get him bailed out at about 4am. But that's not why she was late - - oh no - she said she could have made it to work okay.

Why was she late?

Her momma made her go first thing that morning down to the newspaper office and wait for the late edition of the paper to come out. Why? Well, she had to buy 20 copies of the late edition because it had a big picture of Stack O' Dollah right on the front page - and a story, too - all about him being arrested and all. Momma wanted to make sure she had plenty to mail to the rest of the family that lived up north!

True story.

Bragging Grandparents - Again!!

My grandson, Pickle, has outdone himself this year with awards!!

Not only did he win a Science Award and the Headmasters Honor Roll Award - but he was also inducted into the National Junior Honor Society!!

This is really, really exciting, Pickle - because we know how hard you work to get these great grades! Congratulations!

Holy Cow, Pickle - WHAT A GREAT JOB!!

Your Grampaw & I are so very proud of you!

Now I know why I blog - so I can brag about my fabulous kiddos!!

Miscellaneous Whatevers

My random thoughts - just a little of this and that - and whatever!

We've been so very dry here on the Space Coast. About 10 inches short on rain for the year. Well, Mother Nature has made up for that in the past few days. On Monday, Tuesday and today we have had at least 3 inches of rain each day -- that's 9 inches this week! And it's still raining! I shouldn't complain; this is really helping with the 100+ wild fires that were burning all over the state last week . . . it's refilling all the swamps . . . and it will really help our local mosquito population maintain the record size we're used to! Not just quantity - but each bug is about the size of an adult Blue Jay!!

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Dub and I cleaned out the kitchen closet this week! Think gigantic junk drawer. Miscellaneous 'stuff' has been entering that closet for over 10 years - and nothing has ever been removed. We had 8,467 plastic grocery bags that we took to recycle. We had every old plumbing or electric part ever replaced in this house. Why did we save them?? If we replaced them, logic would say they don't work - so as I'm dropping each into the trash can, Dub is asking, "Are you sure we don't need that?" There were enough various screws, nails, nuts, bolts, etc. to build three houses, a truck and maybe half of a really nice gazebo. I did keep them - but they are all in one big container! Who knew we had 4 cans of WD-40?? And you can never have enough caulk - is 5 tubes enough? There's rope, string, twine, tie-wraps and 4 different kinds of tape! We don't need all that - 1 roll of duct tape is all anyone needs to hold anything together! Well, it's done - and there's now room for a family of three to live in there. But they better hurry before Dub starts putting 'stuff' in there again!

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Wise words from my grandmother: If money can fix it, it's NOT a problem.

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Poor rat terrier Dixie is terrified of thunder and lightning. Rain - she just hates. So, this afternoon during a lull in the storming I had to get her leash, go into my bathroom, pull her out from under the toilet, drag her through the house. Then I had the pleasure of towing her out the door, down the steps and into the soggy front yard. The "Princess" just can't stand to get her delicate little toes wet. So, I drag her out to the middle of the front yard and tell her to "go pee". Which she immediately does.

Now you would think that when I took off the leash she'd hightail it back into the house, right? Nope. Dixie, little delicate thing she is - who won't get her tootsies wet without a fight - takes off for the nearest, deepest mud puddle! And she runs, splashes, barks, rolls, jumps and just generally has herself a really good time . . . until it starts to rain a little bit. Then she stops in her tracks, lays her ears back, looks around - - yelps, RUNS back into the house and returns to her hiding place under the toilet! Yes, she also hated the bath I gave her immediately thereafter.

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It is now officially okay for Memorial Day to arrive. I have purchased a watermelon. I think it's officially against the law (or should be) to have Memorial Day without a nice, big watermelon! And, speaking of Memorial Day - Don't forget to thank a member of the armed forces for all that they do for us! And don't forget to thank their family members, too!

Have a great Thursday!!

Not Me! Monday .. .. .. We're Ba-ack!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

It's good to be getting sort of back to normal - Not me Monday - is ever so much cheaper than therapy. It's also cheaper than throwing dishes! Give it a try; you'll be amazed at how good it feels!

We did NOT have a complete repeat of an earlier Not me! this week. Oh, no - not at this house. It's 3am . . . . two rat terriers go completely nuts . . barking . . screaming . . running in circles . . if they could speak they would be saying, "Help, they're coming to kill us all!!!" Dub and I react with little enthusiasm and lots of dirty words. Dixie and Rascal absolutely insist that there are dastardly deeds being done in the back yard. Who are we to argue? We open the back door and all hell does NOT break loose - AGAIN!! You would think that dang neighborhood cat would remember something as big as a swimming pool - - NOPE - the dogs frightened him right into the pool! Dub's ready to use the skimmer to push him under - I'm trying to get the dogs inside - and two of our neighbors DO NOT come out in their yards to watch out little three ring circus (they could have at least offered to share their beer)!!! Eventually we got the very wet cat out of the pool, I got Dub calmed down, the dogs fell asleep much quicker that we did and the entire neighborhood DOES NOT think we are totally out of our minds!

I have not become addicted to marshmallow fluff! It is not such an addiction that I got a recipe off the www and am going to try to make my own this evening! OOOOOH - - don't ever put it on a peanut butter sandwich! It's not good at all - really - just not good at all!

Yesterday at the grocery store, I did not hit the sample chick three times for these little pizza snack dealies she was giving out. And on my third visit, she did NOT give me a double serving and tell me I couldn't come back! That would just be wrong.

I did not spend almost my entire Sunday afternoon watching coverage of Indianapolis 500 qualifying to see if John Andretti could get his Richard Petty car into the field. (He did.) I was doing other things -- -- but never too far from the TV! NO - I'm not a die hard, dedicated race fanatic!

I wouldn't spend Sunday watching Indy - - especially since I did not spend Saturday afternoon watching earlier Indy qualifying and practice. And then Saturday evening watching NHRA drag racing. And then more of Saturday evening watching NASCAR All-Star races. No - I just don't like any kind of racing at all!

You got anything that you didn't do lately??

Tell us all about it!

Aint Kathurn, Rhett and Drug Store

I always looked forward to those phone calls! "Sweetie! This is your Aint Kathurn calling all the way from Nashvul!" Yep, one of my Grandmother's sisters, Aunt Katherine calling me from Nashville, Tennessee.

My Grandmother had lots of brothers and sisters. We were never sure exactly how many - but there were at least a total of 10 or 12 of them. The list in the family bible shows three question marks that everyone thinks were babies who died very early.

But this is all about Aunt Katherine, her husband Curtis and their only child - a stray dog they adopted and named Drug Store!

If ever a person could 'be' a color it was Aunt Katherine. Imagine RED. Deep, dark, 1940's red with a little black mixed in to make it deeper. Flashy, sparkling, blinding, screaming R E D! In her 80's she was still bragging about her 'cute figure' and wonderful legs. And she was still wearing her short-shorts in her 80's, too! And since Uncle Curtis died 20 year before her, she had 'several' boyfriends to court her and keep her company. But she never would consider getting married again. She was worried that they were just after her money!

And Uncle Curtis - the only way to describe him is Rhett Butler. No, not a bit like Clark Gable. But he was a dead ringer for Rhett Butler! He not only had the look - but the swagger and that attitude, too! And, boy, did he know that he was good lookin'. I loved going out to dinner with them. Uncle Curtis would tease Aunt Katherine about how all the women were jealous of her getting to be with him! He was totally devoted to Aunt Katherine. They just fit together like a pair of spoons!

These two were very loving, giving people. They tried for years to have children with no success. They would borrow the children of relatives during summer vacations, but it just wasn't the same as having your own. Well, they found a starving stray dog behind the local pharmacy - took him home - and named him Drug Store! That dog had the best life you could imagine. He was bathed, brushed, loved and pampered. When it was meal time, whatever they were eating, Drug Store was eating. He could understand anything you said to him. If you told him to go get a blanket, he'd bring a blanket. Ask for a ball, you got a ball. You could name any of his toys and he'd bring the right one. Towel, brush, bear, shoes, slippers, pillow . . . he knew it all!

I look forward to seeing them again some day - Aint Kathurn, Rhett and Drug Store!

Our Weekend Guest

Early last week L called us from Middleofnowhere, GA asking if we would baby sit for them while they drove to West Palm for a wedding.


Before fully understanding what we were in for, Dub said we would be glad to. THAT was when L explained that they would be dropping Peanut off Thursday evening.


Peanut is a pygmy goat and is just five weeks old. He was born prematurely and his mother would have nothing to do with him. L and her daughter have raised him on powdered goat milk mixed with fresh goat milk they get from a friend who raises milk goats.

This was one of the funniest weekends I have ever had in my life! Dixie, our female rat terrier took a sniff and knew she wanted nothing to do with this creature. But Rascal decided that this would be the perfect playmate! And he was so right. He and that goat fought to get out the door and into the front yard first; and the race was on!


First Rascal would chase Peanut, then Peanut would take a quick turn around one of my rose bushes and ram into Rascal's rear end! Rascal would then yelp like a little girl and run like crazy with that tiny goat hot on his trail .. .. .. .. .. until the goat would fall and roll over about six times, get up and shake it off - giving Rascal time to turn around and come after Peanut again!


This would go on for at least 20 minutes and that poor little Peanut would come jump into my lap and just fall over - exhausted! Five minutes later he'd start screaming for his bottle!


After his bottle, Peanut would run back into the house and head straight into the living room and vault himself onto the couch. He'd stand there softly crying until I would sit down with lots of baby blankets for him to curl up on in my lap and he would sleep for hours.


This little guy weighs almost 5 pounds now. He gets 1 cup of milk in his bottle every 4 or 5 hours. Do you know how much pee a tiny little goat can make out of 1 cup of milk? I didn't actually measure it - but I would estimate it to be right around 2 GALLONS at least!


That little bottle of milk is almost his complete intake. He does graze a little when he's outside. Just a couple of blades of grass, a tiny flower, a leaf off my crepe myrtle - guess how much poop comes out after that tiny little bit of food???? Oh - maybe half a shovel full! I just kept reminding myself that it was great fertilizer! Even when I kept stepping in it. (Yes, I live in Florida. Yes, I am bare footed most of the time.)



Everything went really well until Saturday afternoon. Dub took the dogs with him somewhere in the Jeep and Peanut and I had just come inside from a romp in the front yard. We were just getting comfortable on the couch when the phone rang.



So, I'm yacking away on the phone and petting Peanut as he sleeps so peacefully in my lap. I heard Dub drive back into the carport - and who could miss them coming into the house? Those two dogs sound like a herd of elephants on the rampage when they come in!

Well, I guess little Peanut didn't hear them. When Rascal jumped onto the couch, it scared Peanut so bad he - um - er - hm - lost control of various body functions! I got off the phone as Peanut went running through the living room (still leaking everywhere) trying to get into his crate!



I am covered in at least two liquids (or semi-liquids) - neither of which can be adequately be described here. There is absolutely no possible way that the fluids that saturated SIX flannel baby blankets AND my t-shirt AND my jeans shorts could have all come from that teeny, tiny, little, bitty, cute, soft, snuggly, itsy, bitsy, pygmy goat!

Dub sure seemed to think it was really funny! Somehow, the humor was lost on me.


L and family came and picked Peanut up Sunday. We have almost recovered from our baby sitting. I think that the next time they ask us to baby sit we will have to remember to ask them precisely which critter it is we are baby sitting - before we commit to anything!