Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did not wish horrible, terrible, awful things to happen to one of my across the street neighbors this weekend. Never did. Never would. He did NOT park a full tractor-trailer across the street from our house on Friday evening and leave it there until 3 o'clock this morning! About every 30 minutes, the generator did NOT kick on to run the reefer and keep his load cold.

Therefore, while trying to enjoy cooking ribs on the grill we WEREN'T surrounded by the wonder odor of diesel exhaust! And while trying to enjoy splashing in the pool we were not choking on the same diesel exhaust fumes!

And we didn't have to finally move inside to enjoy our watermelon! How can you have a watermelon seed spitting contest inside??!!

It is NOT 11am. I am NOT still in my jammies. I am NOT sitting in the nice, cool A/C while Dub is outside mowing the lawn! And I do NOT intend to change any of those items any time soon . . . . well, okay - I AM going to go shower and get dressed.

Happy Monday!!

Not Me! Monday - Free Therapy

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Nobody in this house spent two full days in her jammies this week. Nope, not sick. Nothing wrong. Just absolute pure-tee laziness! There is no one in this house that would do that!

And then that very same nobody could never have gone outside early this morning and pulled weeds, dug dirt, picked about a ton of tomatos and egg plants, chased two rat terriers, filled the bird bath, trimmed the fig bush and then came in the house to figure out that she couldn't have possibly forgotten all about writing her Not me! Monday post!! No respectable blogger could or would ever do that!

Dub did NOT decide that the blades on our cute little green and yellow riding mower needed sharpening. And he sure didn't proceed to lift said little mower by himself so he could get a jack stand under it. For those of you unaware - he has a horrible, inoperable back condition that is aggravated by doing things like that - and here he is doing heavy lifting. Like his doctors have NOT limited him to picking up nothing weighing more than 8 pounds! Oh no - nothing like that ever happens around here.

And, of course, I did not throw a complete - perfect hissy fit in his direction for this crime. We don't have every tool known to man around here. We have two floor jacks! And he really didn't stick his head in the door and ask if I could help him for a minute! NO!

Then Dub didn't spend the next day in bed with his pain medication wondering why his back was killing him! Please tell me that he didn't actually say, "I don't know what the hell I did, but I'm hurtin' so much worse than usual!"

If you haven't done any "Not Me's" - how about leaving a couple in my comments! I just love knowing I'm not alone in my imperfections!

Someone Help Me!

If you read my Not Me! Monday!, you know that I've been having some issues with sleeping in lately.

What I failed to mention is that on that very Monday - my brother-in-law was BEATING (not knocking) on our front door at 7:15am. Yes, a damn m!

This man has no conscience. He is retired, like us - but he is one of those who gets up really early every morning! And he doesn't understand why the rest of the world isn't up and fully functioning before 7 every morning!

There is no way to count the number of times I have told him not to call so early in the morning . . . I have told him not to come beating on the door so early in the morning. He just laughs and says it doesn't hurt us to get up early and be productive from time to time.

I agree with him completely . . . only if it were "from time to time". He is not bothered by the fact that everyone else that has our number seems to feel exactly the same way.

This morning at 9:00 - - - it was granddaughter G from Middleofnowhere, GA to let us know that she was at the salon. She was using her Mom's cell so she could tell us Mom was getting a hair cut - and that her 5 year old little toes were getting a pedicure! Someone help me!!

Her godfather gave her several gift certificates for salon services for Christmas. Yes, this is the same man who gave her the miniature bull for her birthday! Bear is now about as tall as a great dane but much, much wider!

It's time for my nap now.

Not Me! Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I'm taking a little liberty with my Not Me! Monday! today. I'm going to tell on other people. There is a theme to this. Let's call it "Who woke them up this morning?" Dub and I are retired - we love to sleep in - our family and friends know we love to sleep in. This is how our valiant efforts to sleep in were squashed last week!

Monday - The Yellow Book did NOT have their computer call us at 8:30am to make sure that we received our recent phone book delivery

Tuesday - No way that Dub's son "C" called us at 7:15 am just to say hi! At 7:15 dang am!???

Wednesday - L couldn't wait to call from Middleofnowhere, GA to tell us about the new baby bunnies. Oh, no - had to call at 8:30 and actually say, "Sorry to wake you guys up, but we've got SIX new bunnies!" Happy, happy, joy, joy!

Thursday - Mastercard did not call me at 9am just to see if I was a happy customer. We won't even discuss the fact that I had already told them twice that I wanted to be put on their 'do not call' list -- because I was becoming an unhappy customer -- because they kept calling me!

Friday - Because of a serious case of short term memory loss, Dub's son "C" forgot that he had already done his duty of awaking us EARLY Tuesday! No - I guess this was different - he really didn't call at 7:15am. He called about 8am. No - he couldn't have done that twice in one week!

Saturday - We actually shot ourselves in the foot! Set our alarm for 7am....just had to get up in time to rush out to the front yard and watch the shuttle launch! Got up, turned on the TV for the latest shuttle update - - AND IT DIDN'T LAUNCH!

Sunday - Dixie and Rascal detected a major disturbance in the neighborhood - and couldn't have started a bark-fest about 7:45am. Oh, no - they didn't fight to see who was gonna get out the door first . . . and as soon as they were both outside, they looked around - did what needed to be done and came back inside. They both immediately stretch out and went back to sleep. Dub and I however NEVER got back to sleep!

And how was your week??

I'm Just The Stupidvisor!

Yesterday Dub decided that the starter on our little bitty riding mower needed to be taken completely apart and repaired. I had to agree with him. It was getting harder and harder to get the poor thing to crank up.

He moved the Jeep out of the carport, rolled the mower in and started dismantling the defenseless mower. Of course, as with all things mechanical -- -- you must first remove about twenty-seven other things before you can get to the item you are actually headed for!

Finally, he removes the starter. Now for the complete dis-assembly of the starter. Did you know there's several little tiny springs inside a starter? Yep!! Well, there WERE several little tiny springs. A few of them went flying out into the gravel/sand next to the carport as the starter was coming apart.

As I was combing through the gravel/sand with my lousy eyes and a long handled magnet trying to find the fleeing springs, Dub continued to dis-assemble the rest of the starter and figure out what the problem was.

Once the air in the vicinity turned blue from the language being aimed at this starter AND the mother of this starter - - - it was determined that I should drive to Bruce's Mower and pick up a new starter.

So - from start to finish, four and a half hours and $100 later, we have a new starter on our cute little riding mower! And I think it starts just great!

And Dub decides that the solenoid just doesn't sound right. So - this morning he had to begin the entire process again! Except this time, I did not participate as stupidvisor. When he ascertained that said solenoid was not going to cooperate, HE went to Bruce's Mower and only had to spend $14 to replace that.

He has now decided that the cute little yellow and green riding mower is running just great! But the Weedeater is sounding a little off!

Not Me! Monday - Again? So Soon?

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I'm getting sick and tired of having to tell you about our neighborhood cats NOT getting into our pool enclosure in the middle of the night. And having to erase the picture in my brain of Dub in his Bart Simpson boxers out there trying to chase them out. And, NO, our two rat terriers would never set up such a ruckus that the next door neighbor came outside to make sure everything was okay! Stupid damn cats!

We didn't have such a bad thunderstorm again yesterday that Dixie tried to actually get under the couch! No - she has no anxieties at all! I wonder how expensive it is to take a rat terrier to a shrink?

Dub's daughter L certainly did not call us last night from Middleofnowhere, Georgia to announce the birth of about SIXTEEN new little piggies! I do not belong to a family that owns a mini pig farm!! No way - no how - never - ever!

Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

It was not me who got this great recipe off of Pioneer Woman - and did NOT make this really easy apple/puff pastry dessert yummy goody last night.

And Dub and I are certainly not the ones who have eaten almost every last crumb of that apple/puff pastry dessert already!

It is NOT almost noon - and I am for sure not still in my nightie! I'm sure that I must have gotten up bright eyed and bushy tailed - showered and dressed for the day - bright and early! SURE I DID!!

During a thunderstorm last week, Dixie did not get so frightened that she abandoned her usual hiding place (under the toilet) - and crawled under our bed! I did NOT have to hold up the end of the bed while Dub pulled her out when we finally found her. She did not get stuck so tightly that she couldn't get her big, fat self back out from under that bed! Bless her little heart!

So - is there anything that you didn't do??